grace — Latest Post — Kates Concepts

This past weekend, we had our annual youth retreat at our church. My husband serves as the Youth Pastor, and I am honored to work along side him. The week leading up to the event was STRESSFUL. We had leaders backing out left and right, not enough servers for food, anticipated rain for our outside portion of the weekend. Things were just not coming together. And to top it off, we also had personal and family things going on. Our water heater busted the morning of the day the event would start. My husband and I just kept looking at each other all day that Friday thinking, this is just not going to work. We were exhausted and defeated before we kicked off the weekend where we would just get more tired and stretched thin.

I actually walked into the church that Friday evening and told my husband I did not want to be there, and I wanted to go home and cry. But I was only staying because I knew he needed me…

A lot has changed since I first became pregnant. I graduated college. My husband and I started in full-time ministry. We bought a house. We got pregnant again. We bought a car. We've done renovations. We've pursued other projects. But mostly, I have changed as a person. And honestly, I don't fully know what that all means. I know that I am less confident and more insecure than I used to be. I know that I love more and have a heart for justice more than before. I am more stressed and depressed and angry. I treasure time alone and find pleasure in simple things. My house is dirtier and I have less time for relationships, but the relationships I still have are stronger and more meaningful. We have less money but have become more creative in making ends meet. I feel farther from God but see Him in new ways around me. It's like I'm growing and changing without knowing it or understanding how…