finding self-care.

Can we all just agree this is one of the hardest things in life? I feel like no matter what season of life, what occupation, what financial situation, it is so hard to take care of ourselves. Our culture is so focused on success, and we will kill ourselves in the process of trying to achieve whatever we feel like that means. Our lives are busy and full. We go and go and do it again the next day. We spend little time caring for our souls, and this leads to so much unneeded stress and anxiety. What if we took the time to do some caring for our well-being? I feel like there are 6 areas where we can really connect with ourselves and change our lives for the better.

1. Get Alone. Get Quiet. If we are going to care for ourselves, we need to know ourselves. So much division in our thoughts and emotions come from not taking the time to learn about who we are. Our world is so LOUD. Honestly, the quiet is intimidating. We have to wrestle with those thoughts and deal with our emotions. As a believer in Christ, I need that quiet, alone time to read His word, pray, listen, meditate. This is hard. I neglect this way too often. It sometimes seems like an inconvenience to all the things I need to mark off my list for the day. But without this, I have no reset. No rest. No strength to draw on as I face each day's challenges. We must take time to be alone.
2. Exercise. Yep, I said it. Exercise is important. It may feel like you don't have the energy to get moving but do it anyway. I don't mean you have to run 3 miles or lift 200 pounds at the gym. Do something you think is fun. Something that you are excited about, or else you probably won't be motivated to stick with it. Creating this discipline will really go far in your life. For me, ballet has been such a gift from God. I never dreamed I would be a dancer. I didn't start until I was 21. I was intimidated at first, but I was so in love with the movement of it all. My husband said he could envision me dancing, and I took the plunge. I NEVER try new things, but I am glad I did this once. I know I am fueling my body and my emotions. Find something and do it.
3. Friendship. Everyone feels alone. If you feel alone in being alone, you aren't. Loneliness is one of the ways Satan tries to keep us from living life to the fullest. We need to have those few people in our lives that can share in our burdens and victories. And we need to take the time to grow those relationships. A breakfast date or afternoon coffee can do wonders for a relationship. Community offers something to our souls, belonging and encouragement.
4. Hobby. This word seems silly to me. And honestly, I never really felt like I had a hobby. I thought hobbies were things people were just obsessed about, like stamp-collecting. But a hobby is really just a positive pleasure. It could even be a part of your exercise, like ballet is for me. God gives us inclinations towards certain things. He does long for us to enjoy this world He created. Do you love listening or playing music? Being outside? Growing food or flowers? Painting? Writing? Using your hands to create things? What are those special things you enjoy that make you, you? Give yourself time to do them.
5. Learn new things. When we are done with school, we often stop trying to learn. Recently, I have felt a little stupid. I haven't spend time to challenge myself intellectually, to learn things. We need to use our brain to feel that our whole self is taken care of. Maybe you learn at your career, and you are already having this need met. But I am at home, and rarely get to finish a book. When I give myself the opportunity to look deeper into a topic, whether it is world-events, research articles, or even scripture, I feel so much better about myself. Our self-esteem needs some brain power.
6. Date Night. If you are married or in a significant relationship, you need time to nurture this, just like with friendships. My relationship with my husband is my most important earthy relationship. He is more important than my kids. I love him more than I love my kids. That seems a little harsh to say, but it has been one of the best relationship principles we know. Our marriage is the foundation of our family, and if it is suffering, everything else is suffering too. We must take the time to invest in this important relationship.

So how in the world do I take care of myself in these six areas if I feel like I can't even find the time to take a shower? I know. I'm right there with you. It's hard to make self-care a priority. So many other things seem more demanding of our time. But we just can't take care of our families well if we aren't well ourselves. Here are some tips:

• Wake up early. It sucks, but getting up before your kids and giving yourself some time to prep for the day really helps.
• Stay up late. Not a morning person? Maybe you need to stay up and extra half-hour or hour after everyone is in bed for a little time to spend on yourself.
• Lock the bathroom door. Haha. Sometimes, I just need 5 minutes to pray or be in the quiet in order to keep going. Just go to the bathroom an lock the door.
• Use the TV. I don't let my kids watch that much tv. We have a pretty set schedule, and I feel guilty letting them watch more. But if an extra 30 minutes helps me to re-charge in order to be a better mother to them, I should utilize that. They deserve for me to be at my best.
• Ask your spouse for help. Myself and some other women I know have a specific day and time each week that they are free to do whatever they want. Sometimes I feel bad asking my husband to take over the house duties because he has a day job. But he is their father. He wants to have that alone time with them, and who am I to not allow that? ;)
• Plan a kid-swap. I know some moms who offer to watch each other's kids every other week. So one week you get a couple hours to yourself and the next week your friend does. Such a great way to foster relationships with your kids too!
• Find extra money. Sometimes I feel like I cannot do anything because we just don't have the money. I have to budget in my ballet classes. We have cut funds from other areas in order to give ourselves resources to  self-care. Also, I love the Ibotta app, rebates for groceries turn into gift-cards for date nights out. (Also, if you use my referral link/code, you get $10 and I'll get $5! https://ibotta.com/r/wgmnmkp, code: wgmnmkp)

Hope you all are able to take some time to care for yourselves this week!

In truth,

Kate

When I Can't Protect My Children.

This thought has been on my mind a lot lately. It seems like every other day I see a sad story of a 2 year old on the news. It hits me hard. I never want anything to happen to my precious little two year olds.

Missing, abducted, neglected, abused, dying. Scared and alone, yearning for love. I ask God why He isn't protecting them, loving them? If He could just give them to me, I would love. I would protect.

As parents we do all that we can to protect our children. Sometimes it works, sometimes we go overboard and they rebel. Sometimes we fail. And still other times we have no idea what to even do to protect them. My kids know that outlets are dangerous, the stove is hot, and not to chase a ball that rolls into the street. We hold hands in the parking lot, I buckle their car seats, they wear sunscreen.

But I can't stop sickness, disease, heartbreak or failure. I can't stop fear and spiritual warfare.

I'm not in control.

And this is where I am right now. Our son has had trouble sleeping throughout his life. But not the typical "my kids don't sleep" type of not sleeping. My husband and I believe fully that it is spiritual warfare. Satan knows that if you want to make a parent weak, attack their children. When he was younger, Jack would wake up numerous times a night terrified. Shushing, bouncing, lullabies...nothing seemed to help. We didn't know what was going on. And in our delusional, sleep-deprived state, we could not muster up a prayer more than "Lord, let him sleep."

After several months, we got serious about praying knowing it was the only thing that could help. But Jack did everything he could do to stop us. Anytime we prayed, sang spiritual songs, or read scripture, he covered our mouths, kicked and screamed, and pushed us away. It remained intense for a couple of weeks but then miraculously stopped.

It has been almost a year since he has been attacked, but he started being scared again last week. His reactions this time are different and I am thankful. Instead of rejecting God, he's embracing him. He asks for prayer and even prays himself. We will walk in and his hands are clasped and he is talking away, then he says "amen." He asks us to sing and also sleeps with his "Jesus Book" (the Bible) almost every night. He knows Who to turn to for comfort when he is alone.

One night after Jack had been crying for over an hour, I went back in to comfort him again. I told him I would be right outside the door, always there to protect him.

But then it hit me. I can't always protect him. It was then that I bursted into tears and could only say, "God will protect you...God will protect you."

And I must trust Him to do so.

I can try to prevent what I can, and prepare them for life's challenges, but the most powerful thing I can do is pray. Pray for His protection, pray for His peace, pray for His assurance when I feel He is absent. He is not. And I must trust.

God protects in ways we cannot understand. Though I may watch the news and wonder where God is, He is there.

He cares for His children. He loves them. He protects them...in a more extravagant way than I can imagine or attempt on my own.

I am so thankful for the Lord, my Protector.

Thanks for the read. -Kate